Backstory As a treat, I'll let you read part of the script from a classic 'I'm Alan Partridge episode: Lynn: Alan, there’s that teacher chap. Alan: Michael, if he hits me, will you hit him first? Michael: No, he’s a customer. I cannot hit customers. I’ve been told. I’ll go and get some stock. Alan: Yeah, chicken stock. Phil: Hello Alan. Alan: Lynn, hand me an apple pie. And remove yourself from ..